<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>spacedust by sunflower_8</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23221765">spacedust</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_8/pseuds/sunflower_8'>sunflower_8</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>amasai week 2020 !! [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Depression, Existential Crisis, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Stars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:34:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23221765</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_8/pseuds/sunflower_8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>saihara makes everything seem simple. he disarms the complexity (the stressful, awakening complexity) of everyday life and dissolves it into nothing. it makes amami feel less scared, but sometimes he just wants to scream. </p><p>it’s not fair. he’s sure saihara has plenty of existential crises. </p><p>(or, amami has a crisis)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>amasai week 2020 !! [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>spacedust</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>it’s 11:42 pm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>if it had been a pretty day outside, amami would have been able to see stars against a dark sky, beautiful and endless. he would have drowned in their glow, their light. instead, it’s cloudy outside, darkness that never ends, and amami is drowning in nothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he’s cold. he brought blankets with him to swaddle himself in, but the feeling was too constricting. he cast them off, but he’s still freezing. he wishes he could feel someone’s arms around his neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but the desire isn’t strong enough for him to go wake up his boyfriend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he wishes he could have been born as something else. he’s too weak to be a person, really, but he’s too resilient to become a husk. he’s chosen to adapt when he shouldn’t have, so he’s stuck in the hands of survival. he really wishes he could just shapeshift into a piece of spacedust, floating, immersed in beauty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>you don’t have to be vulnerable to be spacedust.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he hears the door open behind him, his boyfriend’s footsteps soft against the balcony. he settles beside amami, wrapping the blankets around both of them before looking up and watching the empty sky. his right hand sits on his leg-- an offer. amami accepts and intertwines their fingers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>only then does he speak. “cloudy,” saihara murmurs quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>amami sighs, “yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>saihara turns to look at him, and amami feels a hundred eyes watching him. “what’re you thinking about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>i don’t know. i really don’t know.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he just wishes he could see behind the clouds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i’m not sure.” his voice is tired, but he doesn’t want to sleep. he doesn’t want to miss a second of existence he’ll never get back even if he hates it. because he hates it-- he hates being awake so much. he doesn’t know how to voice it. “i don’t want to go to sleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“okay.” saihara makes everything seem simple. he disarms the complexity (the stressful, awakening complexity) of everyday life and dissolves it into nothing. it makes amami feel less scared, but sometimes he just wants to scream. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s not fair. he’s sure saihara has plenty of existential crises. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“can you stay out with me?” amami asks. he knows saihara will stay regardless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>instead of answering, saihara just hums, pressing closer. he nestles his head against amami’s neck, kisses to the beat of “i love you” and watches him watch the sky as if it will change. the sky won’t change. neither will amami, really-- everything is stagnant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he closes his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he’s terrified he will never see the stars again.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>stars // late</p><p>my mind is not functioning properly currently so i don't have a very long note for you guys.</p><p>this one is objectively not my best but i hope you still like it.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>